How much is your art molded through the opinions of others?
Everyone loves a good compliment especially when it’s about your music or talent. Artists and creatives spend countless amounts of hours on their craft giving it everything they’ve got in order to make their visions come to life. So hearing a little positive feedback can make all that time and effort seem well spent. On the other hand, receiving criticism towards something you’ve labored over can sting to say the least.
The bottom line is that whether someone is giving you positive or negative feedback, it's just someone else's opinion.. And let's be real, how often do you agree with the opinions of others? People will debate the most insignificant topics all day, but when it comes to others opinions about us, we’re quick to be like “damn they’re right, I’ll never make it”, or “ yea you’re right, I am the GOAT.” It’s easy for us to confuse opinions for facts when they’re disguised as compliments or criticism about us. I’ve been around the block enough to know that you can’t control the opinions of others, but what we can do is control how we process their opinions (if we even want to process them at all).
The key to processing compliments and criticism is to never take either of them personally. All they are is someone’s thoughts of you filtered through their reality and life experiences. If someone had a really bad day or life, they might be taking that out on you with a nasty remark. Something to keep in mind when your music is being critiqued is that you are not your music. It’s not an attack on you as a person so no reason to take it personally.
Criticism
Not all criticism is bad and not all compliments are good. One of the earliest lessons I remember learning when I played in bands as a young teenager was to appreciate constructive criticism and to tune out unconstructive criticism. If someone is criticizing your art in a constructive and positive way, It’s most likely because they’ve enjoyed your art and thought that they could share something that might improve it. It probably sounds something like “You were great but I’d suggest...”
Constructive Criticism
Constructive criticism will usually come from people that share similar talents to your own. You don’t have to agree with what they’re saying but it can’t hurt to listen. There could be something of value to learn from someone that's been in the game longer than you have. Keep in mind that there’s not really a right or wrong when it comes to creativity. Consider if what they have to say applies to your creative vision and if it doesn’t.. Forget about ittt. Constructive criticism can sometimes come with a side of arrogance where the critic is making it known that they’re more advanced than you in your skillset. Some people are just more egocentric than others but that doesn't mean there isn’t something to learn from their comments. Say thank you and that you appreciate their input, then move on.
Unconstructive Criticism
If someone approaches you after a performance and says “your voice sucks” there’s not a whole lot to learn from that. Without at least giving you some reasons why it sucks and what you could do to improve it, they’re basically just a heckler. This is unconstructive criticism and we ignore this. Although, if you have multiple people a night approaching you to let you know that you can’t sing, then you may want to give it some thought and start taking lessons. For the most part there’s nothing to really learn from these people except to avoid them.
Compliments
Compliments about your music should be thought about in the same way as criticism. Compliments are obviously more fun to receive, but keep in mind that they are also just someone else’s opinion of you. It’s natural to feel uplifted by compliments which is part of the reason that people give them but remember to keep your head in check and try your hardest not to take it personally. As deeply as you internalize the praise from the compliments that you receive, you will internalize negative criticism equally as deep. Getting too caught up in your own hype can be just as detrimental to your career as taking negative criticism to heart.
Compliment Bombing
People have all kinds of motives when letting others know how they feel. They could want to share genuine appreciation for your art or a deep disgust for the floor you walk on. It only matters as much as you want it to. You might have heard of love bombing, well on the opposite end of unconstructive criticism is compliment bombing. I never quite know what to do when people compliment me in this way. After they watch you play a show or after listening to your music they tell you how amazing it was, which is always a great feeling but sometimes they don’t stop. The conversation might go like this..
“Omg, this is the most amazing thing i’ve ever heard.”
“Thanks so much!”
“Like seriously it’s crazy”,
“thanks”
“you’re the best, let me suck your..”
“whoa.. “
You can only say thank you in response so many times before you have to shift the subject away from it being about you. It’s not a comfortable situation to be in unless you genuinely think you’re the most amazing person to walk the planet. You have to realize that when complimenting is taken to this level, It’s most likely mixed with some kind of self centered motive from the giver. Whatever the motive might be doesn't matter. They want something in return for their compliment whether that's getting your attention or getting backstage.
Have Confidence In Your Art
When facing the opinions of others, all you have to do is be thick skinned and have confidence in your art. Know what it is that you want to express and say it loud.. Or quietly if you prefer. Otherwise, your art will be molded through the compliments and criticism of other people’s opinions and who wants that? Creativity will always be inspired by our surroundings, our musical influences and the craziness that’s going on in the world. The beauty of having a creative outlet such as music or art is that we can express our innermost thoughts and feelings beyond the scope of words. Your creations are yours and yours alone. Have enough confidence in your work to the point that compliments and criticism become background noise. Otherwise these critiques will become the hand that holds the brush and your creations will become less about you and more about them. Aka the true definition of selling out. But get that bag if you have to.
Silent “Criticism”
I thought I was done with this blog post but then I thought of something really important while I was cooking that I have to mention. Compliments and critiques can both alter our states of mind due to the actions of others if we let it. Silent criticism can make you go nuts. An example of this would be when you send your music to someone or a company and hear nothing back. If you’re an over thinker, this can drive you crazy creating scenarios of why they didn’t reply. “They probably hate it. I knew this track sucks. No label will ever want me.” You’ve essentially become the heckler and are giving yourself unconstructive criticism!
There’s a world of reasons why someone might not reply. Even if they don’t reply because they don’t like it, it's still not personal. Music is taste and music is not you. It’s outside of you. So nothing really to take personally is there? I’m going to do another blog post on this topic because there’s a lot more to say but the best thing you can do is send and forget (until you hear something back). Get back to work on whatever is next.
With that said, if you’re getting compliments and critiques on a regular basis, it means that you're doing something right. You're contributing enough of yourself and your creations to the world to get noticed. So keep doing what you’re doing. Stay authentic and block out the noise.
Peace.